Women's Seminar

We've Only Just Begun

   It's finally over. The craziest Presidential election is finally over. A well-oiled and heavily funded political machine came crashing down in a shocking blow nobody predicted. Shades of David and Goliath! The hopes and dreams of every little girl was put on hold because of an unpolished billionaire who defied all odds.

    Like no other election, the amount of dirt the candidates dug up and displayed is unprecedented. You would have to be crazy ... a total idiot ... to hope to be President. But every year there is no shortage of idiots who sign up for the torture. Well, this year, we got 2 of the worst idiots to choose from --- the professional vs. the apprentice. And the apprentice won!

   This email is shared to an international audience so I feel I need to explain our 2-party system here in America. The Republicans and the Democrats are the 2 major parties. They hate each other to death.

   Someone simplifed the difference between the 2 party ideologies. I will let you guess which is which.

   One party sees the glass half full while the other half sees the glass half empty. In other words, 1) one party considers man as basically good, generous, fair and (in the normal course of events) will do what's best for the majority while 2) the other half considers man as basically evil, selfish, lazy and (left to his own devices) greed will overcome him. That explains why one party pushes for welfare and social equality while the other encourages self-reliance and hard work. Do you agree with this comparison?

    We all hoped for the craziness to end after November 8. Are you kidding? The fun has only just begun.

   A wise woman inspired this final thought: It takes a village idiot to light a match and burn down the neighborhood. It takes a village genius to raise it up from the ashes. Only time will tell if America voted for an idiot or a genius.

   TGIF people!

Wisdom from Naomi of Antipolo, Philippines

Amazing Goldfish
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet ...

but only for like 20 seconds ...

And only once.

At the Women's Seminar
Contributed by Tom of Pasadena, CA

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?"

All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember. The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart."

Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message they received in response to their message.

Below are 11 hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you understand that these replies are a sign of true love. Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?

1. Who the heck is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong?
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean?
   
   
   
   
6. What the heck did you do now?
7. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need
8. Am I dreaming?
9. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
10. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.
11. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?

Videos of the week:

Johnny Carson: Lie Detector Test for Politicians
Contributor: Tom of Pasadena, CA

If only we had this in place during the election season. This is an old video but I'm thinking that this is already possible with today's technology.

Vegetable Quartet
Contributor: Art of Sierra Madre, CA

This is a talented man who transforms vegetables into woodwind instruments to play "Happy Birthday."

Death-Defying Acrobatic Act on the Freeway
Contributor: Charlie of New Jersey

This looks real ... real dangerous ... real foolish. He must have a death wish. I wonder if he's still alive.

Stranger Things: The Hamster Movie
Contributor: Janet of South Pasadena, CA

"Stranger Things" is a reference to a Netflix mystery series. This guy uses his hamsters to make a chain of videos to bring out their cuteness. TGIF people! Be sure to thank the Veterans today.