Tick
Warning Contributed
by Tom of Pasadena, CA
It's the scam of
the summer! If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking
for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off
and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT! THIS IS A SCAM!!
They only want to
see you dance naked.

I wish I'd gotten
this yesterday
... I feel so stupid.
Fake
Noodle Contributed
by Melba of Covina, CA
Q: what do you call
a fake noodle?

A: an Impasta!
A.A.A.D.D. Contributed
by Linda Belle of Whittier, CA
Age-Activated Attention
Deficit Disorder. KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
This is how it manifests:

I decide to water
my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car
and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail
on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide
to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the
table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice
that the can is full.

So, I decide to put
the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first ... but then
I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage
anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book
off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks
are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of soda I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look
for my checks but first I need to push the soda aside so that I don't
accidentally knock it over. The soda is getting warm, and I decide to
put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen
with the soda, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye --- they
need water. I put the soda on the counter and discover my reading glasses
that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back
on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses
back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot
the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight
when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote. But I won't remember
that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den
where it belongs. But first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water
in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the
remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then,
I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the
day:
The car isn't washed,
the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of soda sitting on the counter,
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to
figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know
I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is
a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll
check my e-mail ....

Do me a favor. Forward
this message to everyone you know because I don't remember who I've sent
it to. Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
P.S. I don't remember who sent it to me, so if it was you, I'm sorry.
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