cats

More Powerful than Artificial Intelligence

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Mon, 02/05/2018 - 02:56
It's not how you win or lose...

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The Wedding Crasher

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 11/05/2016 - 10:13
At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.

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Man Goes to a French Restaurant

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 07/23/2016 - 03:25
A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit, came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, "What would you like, sir?”

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Forgetful

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 05/21/2016 - 06:16
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

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Going to the Jim

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 09/19/2015 - 01:39
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

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Walk With Me

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 08/22/2015 - 07:05
I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did on me - then my forwarding it will be worth the effort.

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CEO

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 05/16/2015 - 03:33
The CEO of a large firm goes on a road trip with his wife. They pull over a gas station to fill up the tank.
Later, the CEO steps inside the facility to pay the cashier. He then notices that his wife gets into an animated conversation with one of the gas station attendants.

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Another Year

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 01/10/2015 - 02:16
Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter
And winter seems colder.

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Avocado Errand

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 12/06/2014 - 15:08
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have avocados, get 6."

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Thanksgiving Special

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 11/21/2014 - 12:47
Their three kids, all successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.
"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed Son No. 1. "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."

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Juggler on the Freeway

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 11/01/2014 - 01:38
A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/West Virginia State line.
When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a juggler and was on his way to do a show at the Shrine Circus.

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Three Spies

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 10/17/2014 - 11:07
There are 3 spies that get captured. One is French, one is English and the other is an Italian named Luigi.

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Confessional Box

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 09/12/2014 - 14:20
I went into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.
On one wall, there's a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses

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Queenly Advice

Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 02/21/2014 - 15:07
Kate Middleton asked the Queen for advice on marriage and a long relationship.

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