Traveling Boy: Jim Friend: Costa Rica - Factoids Edition
Costa
Rica
Factoids Edition Story by Jim Friend
Photo credits: Unless otherwise noted,
all photos by Jim Friend and Nick Friend
"...initial attempts at colonizing Costa Rica
proved unsuccessful due to a combination of factors, including: disease
from mosquito-infested swamps,
brutal heat, resistance by natives, and pirate raids." - CIA
Factbook
"Hola, guëro.
Welcome to Costa Rica. If only I were just a little higher up
above you in that tree over there..."
Trip Factoids:
I witnessed the lion's share of the UCLA women's
basketball team in the Seattle airport as we were flying out. A dozen
6'6", 130 pound women is indeed a memorable and unusual sight.
On the flight to Houston, I sat next to a 25 year
old fellow from the Washington Coast who had never flown before, traveling
to visit his parents in Texas. Things I was compelled to tell him:
"Did you hear that guy getting on the plane
saying he had the swine flu? That's messed up. He should have stayed
home."
Just before take-off: "Do you see that crack
running down the wing? That's not cool at all."
"You picked a hell of a flight for your first
time flying. I overheard the stewardess saying she had a premonition
this flight was going to crash."
I offered him my window seat since he'd never flown
before, he was grateful. I told him, "No problem, it'll give
you a better view for when we crash."
Mercifully for the both of us, he had a good sense of humor.
Costa Rica's national frog. He looks angry but is
merely doing the math to see if he can fit you in his belly.
When we got to Costa Rica (I went with my awesome
brother Nick) it was dark, and we had to drive 60 miles to get to
the hotel, after reading repeated guidebook warnings to avoid driving
at night. Most of the guidebooks referred to Costa Rican drivers as
crazy, but it was more like a game of Mario Cart. I loved it. Whereas
in the US, all traffic cops use the road as an opportunity to anally
enforce whatever rules they feel like that day for the purpose of
generating income and maintaining possession of their shiny boots
and rampant egos, I heard that in Costa Rica, on the other hand, they
consider driving a national sport. They also use the road as a road,
a tool to get from one place to the next; not as an opportunity to
display a quasi-religious expression of faith in the Government and
Humankind and The Following of Rules Closely, to prove their devotion
to The Exalted State; like, for example, where I currently live.
We stayed mostly in Jacó Beach, on the Pacific
Coast, and saw all three species of monkeys that exist in that region
on our first day of exploring. I had never seen monkeys in the wild
before. They are exactly like giant, giant house cats crawling around
up in the trees with humanesque faces with the grandest of cahonés.
We were being guided in the jungle near Manuel Antonio and ran into
a troupe of howler monkeys. The guide said, "Stay out from under
them. They will poop and pee on you, or if that fails, they will crap
in their hands and throw it at you." We heard that restated several
times by the locals.
Near the same national park, we saw several blue
morpho butterflies. They are shiny iridescent blue, about the size
of a small dinner plate, and more float through the air than fly.
It's like seeing a supernatural being pass by.
Our sweet hotel, the pool was just steps from our
room.
Rainbow macaws were everywhere. They are very fond
of flying over to their buddies with the specific goal of knocking
them off the branches they're sitting on. Most of the macaws getting
hammered on would simply hold on to the branch, swing upside down,
and fight back while upside down.
We went zip-lining in the upper jungle canopy near
Jacó, zooming from tree to tree, on about eight different long
cables. On one of these sections, the guide urged us to to hang upside
down, put our feet on the bars where our hands were supposed to be,
and then throw our hands out. He'd then push us down the line, and
yell, "No! No! No!" as if we were doing something wrong.
My man. I'll never forget the sight of my brother flying down that
zip line upside down with his hands thrown out, embracing the void.
Awesomeness.
When we were up there in the canopy, it started to
pour down rain. It's so warm in Costa Rica, it felt great. In the
jungle, the one thing I remembered most about the rain was that it
is loud. Another time, we were in the jungle and it started to rain,
and the canopy was so thick above us, barely a drop reached us.
We liked the zip-line so much we signed up to do
it again at night. They were supposed to only do it in groups of ten,
but since it was the slow season, they took just the two of us. The
next evening when we got there, it was pitch dark. One of our guides
took out a huge machete and said, "Follow close, there are poisonous
snakes everywhere." There were a total of four of us, and we
had four flashlights. As we were walking along, we found that only
one flashlight actually worked. One more flickered the whole time.
The two others were completely dead.
Multiple species of butterfly are everywhere in
Costa Rica.
One day, yet again walking on a jungle trail somewhere,
we heard a loud crash about 100 feet away. I went to investigate,
hoping for a jaguar, but saw nothing. We heard the same sort of thing
a bit later. Just as we were completing our zip-lining adventure at
night, in the pitch dark, we were standing around on terra firma waiting
for our guides to wrap things up, when we heard another big crash,
this time about 50 feet away. We recruited the working flashlight
and went to investigate, and it turned out the noises we had been
hearing over the past couple days were large chunks of dead wood falling
to the ground from the jungle canopy from far, far above.
On a tour of a wildlife preserve, our fearless guide
Randall was showing us several aquariums of different species of poison
arrow frogs, which are indigenous to Costa Rica. Shoot some thug on
the street who's trying to steal your dinner diñero with your
HK .40 and you might have to do it a three or four times to avail
the coroner on the scene. Get just a milligram or two of that poison
frog juice in you and it is Game Over for all of even the least of
your humble aspirations, such as, for example, breathing and feeling
your heart beat. When Randall got to the last frog aquarium, his tone
shifted somewhat solemnly and he declared that this was the "most
poisonous poison arrow frog of them all." After a short speech
about this particular frog, he then inexplicably proceeded to stick
his hand in the aquarium for some still yet undetermined reason, and
promptly got one of their eggs stuck on his hand. We watched him try
to extricate his finger from that spooky egg for a long time. I was
just standing there staring at him, waiting for the sweat to break
out on his forehead, the quivering to start, followed by a collapse
to the ground with an ensuing volley of horrifying twitchings and
floppings. Then would come the inevitable cradling in the arms and
the peering deep into the fading eyes and the "Randall! Randall!
You're going to be ok man, just hang in there," with a quick
cessation of life following... but he calmly wiped that egg off finally,
and that was the last of it.
Another gorgeous beach, this one in Manuel Antonio.
Both Nick and I got sick on Day Four. My illness
manifested with hurting eyes (back of both eyes, which is, by the
way, a symptom of dengue fever), throbbing kidneys (toxin filters),
and sore leg muscles (toxin respositories, or walking too much). Weird.
And oh yeah, did I mention the diarrhea? Likely culprits... take your
pick: Scrambled eggs (with salmonella tapenade), ice (consisting of
a suspension of 50% water and 50% e-coli serotype O157:H7), or raw
leaves and tubers picked and eaten in the jungle at the instruction
of one of our guides (delectible), or "fresh fruit" (served
everywhere).
One night, we experienced a thunderstorm in Jacó
so massive that water started pouring into our hotel room from under
the front and back doors. I was there by myself, as Nick had walked
to town, and the nearby lightning strikes were actually rattling the
windows. I used almost all of our towels to dam up the door thresholds
and soak up the water, wringing it out into our hotel trash cans and
then running to dump the water into the shower, back and forth. The
novelty wore off after about 20 minutes, and I finally called the
front desk to inform them of this ridonkulous dilemma. When the front
desk fellow saw our room, his eyes got big, and he immediately moved
us upstairs. I felt like I had a pretty adventurous night, but when
I finally was able to talk to Nick again, I learned that he had gotten
caught in the storm while walking back from town, and spent most of
the worst of it outside in the elements, standing under a flimsy bus
shelter.
What a foul creature the crocodile is. Utterly foul.
One day while driving about, we saw a number
of horrible looking crocodiles in a river below a well used bridge.
They were congregating right below the sidewalk, undoubtedly by my
estimation, anticipating yet another pedestrian-cum-photographer to
lean just a bit too far over the railing.
We ran into a successful fellow at a bar one
night in Jacó. He stated that Costa Rica is much like California
was (his childhood home) about 50 or 60 years ago, declaring it a
great place to live, with a great environment for business, including
no capital gains tax.
We put 1,000 km on our rental car in one week.
In that time, I got stopped by the police twice. They were somewhat
suspicious and checked all my paperwork carefully, but were ultimately
very cool, which was good, because I was thinking "Midnight Express"
the whole time.
The collapsed bridge and bus wreck near
Orotina. Photo credit: Jorge Umaga
One day, we had been driving on jungle roads for hours and hours,
and very much needed to get over a certain bridge to Orotina because
it was going to get dark soon. Driving at night in Costa Rica is
a big problem as apparently there is some sort of constitutional
provision banning the use of signs that might indicate your current
position or where you might be going. Anyway, it turns out this
bridge had collapsed under the weight of a bus about ten hours earlier:
5 dead, about 25 went to the hospital. It was big news in Costa
Rica.
I fulfilled a life-long dream of picking a
coffee bean from a coffee bush on the foothills of the Poás
volcano. (The picking of the coffee bean part, not the rest.) It was
unripe (green). It smelled quite a bit like a hot pepper. The bean
currently resides on my coffee table, it is black now, and has shrunk.
We ran over a boa constrictor on the road while
driving one night, thankfully we straddled it perfectly and didn't
actually hurt it. I think. Maybe we hurt its feelings.
Costa Rica Factoids:
One of the stretches
of our zip line. All the lines were about 100 feet off the
ground.
"Costa Rica" literally means, "rich coast."
About the size of West Virginia. Hillbilly free.
From the CIA Factbook: "Although explored by
the Spanish early in the 16th century, initial attempts at colonizing
Costa Rica proved unsuccessful due to a combination of factors, including:
disease from mosquito-infested swamps, brutal heat, resistance by
natives, and pirate raids." Sweet!
Declared independence from Spain in 1821. Has had
no standing military since 1949. Has been cool since the 16th century.
Perhaps as a derivative of having no armed forces
(the only country of its sort in the entire Western Hemisphere), Costa
Rica declared itself "permanently neutral" in 1993. Not
like it's going to work, but hey, it's worth a shot, right?
23% of Costa Rican land is protected within its National
Park system, or current equivalents. It contains the greatest density
of animal species in the world.
When the national flower was chosen by in 1937, not
only did "The Experts" get a vote, but university students
and secondary school students were also included in the process.
Has 850 bird species, 600 of these are non-migratory.
An old cargo plane, one of two C-123's that that
delivered arms and supplies into Central America for the CIA in the
80's, now converted into a bar and restaurant. Its sister plane was
shot down over Nicaragua in October of 1986, containing none other than
Eugene Hasenfus. This was the first major incident that would ultimately
precipitate congressional interest and world-wide focus on what ultimately
would become known as the "Iran-Contra Affair."
Costa Rica's unofficial motto is "Pura Vida."
It roughly translates as an expression of national attitude including
the concepts of political stability, peace, and happy lives. The phrase
was adopted from a 1956 Mexican movie of the same name. By the 70's,
the expression was so widely used that it was eventually added to
Costa Rican dictionaries.
Ranked #1 in the world for 2009 on the "Happy
Planet Index," which is an index of "human well-being and
enviromental impact," according to Wikipedia. Apparently, these
people have never driven in Costa Rica, as every vehicle belches wretchedly
foul smelling exhaust smoke.
Consistently ranked #1 in the world by annual vote
of current and emeritus Travelingboy staff as possessing the "Hottest
Girls in the World." Travelingboy Central American bureau heartily
approves.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older
articles are not as good as newer ones. You have a lot more creativity
and originality now. Keep it up! And according to this article, I totally
agree with your opinion, but only this time! :) .
Arthur Cox, Next to Paris
* * *
Jim. Take it all in, smother your senses with the culture
and people. Watch your top notch and have a once in a lifetime experience.
Miss you.
Jeff and Andrea, Los Angeles, CA
* * *
Fascinating photos Jim! Singly they are all fodder for
short stories; together they really capture an out-of-body trip! Enjoyed
mine, thank you! I'm curious what those compounds contain...mostly businesses?
residences? Love that the T-Boy card is making it's way around the globe!
Wendy, Los Angeles, CA
* * *
These are outstanding photos. You capture scenes that
I've never seen in the "mainstream media." Haunting images that
make me think that there is danger around every corner.
Al Burt, Friday Harbor, WA
* * *
Enjoyed your article immensely! Your title is fun and
so is learning about bin Laden skipping out without paying the rent -
what a loser! It's great you could meet with Mr. Jouvenal, hear the stories
and see the guns. Give our highest regards to T.G. Taylor and the other
military personnel serving in Afghanistan. Courage to you all!
Steve, Renton, WA
* * *
Jim, I enjoyed this fascinating article. It reminded me
of how sublimely surreal life is. Also, I would like to thank you for
your courage, and to express gratitude towards your bringing this piece
of the world, with its foreign realities, to my doorstep. I look forward
to reading more from you.
Sandra, Seattle, WA
* * *
This is outstanding reporting, Jimmy F! Fascinating stuff.
You've taken on a dangerous, important assignment in Afghanistan, and
we readers appreciate your work with the military and your unique observations.
I look forward to your next post. In fact, I'm going to go through the
archives to see your entire body of work on TravelingBoy.
Terry, Los Angeles, CA
* * *
I really enjoyed my entry into Kabul with you and the
visit with Peter Jouvenal... look forward to more of that adventure.
Brenda, Richland, WA
* * *
Great story, Jim, a story really "as current as yesterday's
news." Now there's a real TravelingBoy!
Eric, San Diego, CA
* * *
Jim you have probably revealed more about Bin Laden than
anyone...his rage on the world has to be linked to his limp handshake.
Be careful over there!
Janet, Caldwell, ID
Thanks Janet! I get the distinct
impression that his handshake isn't the end story to all that's limp with
bin Laden's physiology!
Jim
* * *
What a fantastic piece. You're a modern-day Hemingway.
Your writing is compelling and fascinating. I look forward to much more
of this great adventure.
Roger, Puyallup, WA
Wow, Roger, what an awesome set
of complements. Thanks a lot. My first journal entry of 2010 was: "The
stories will tell themselves. I just need to show up." So far, so good!
Thanks again!
Jim
Jim, first time reading your stuff. Very cool. I hope
to read about our units and life in eastern Afghanistan very soon since
you will be coming to our area as an embed. BTW, I'm the PAO here in Jalalabad
and will be coordinating your visit with CPT Disi.
T.G. Taylor, US Army, Jalalabad, Afghanistan
* * *
Hello T.G.!
I saw your email address included
on a couple of correspondences, and I cannot wait to spend some time with
you, and even yet more of our honorable fighting forces over there in
that bleak neck of the woods in Afghanistan in January, including CPT
Disi. This is truly a trip of a lifetime for me, and I'm completely looking
forward to absorbing the experiences there and recording the sufferings
and sacrifices of so many of those of you who continue to strain and press
to make Our Country Great, those of you who daily labor to assist those
in other countries whose lives had once withered under the burden of tyrants,
and whose hopes can now flicker again with the help of those like yourself.
Thanks so much for putting it all out there for us every day. My fervent
hope is to honorably document the expenditures of each of your individual
lives in the midst of this conflict, those of you who "anonymously"
struggle daily to make what We Hold As Good prevail in what, at times,
is a dark and wicked world.
Thanks so much, man. Great to hear
from you... See you soon!
Jim
* * *
Sad to say, this is the first time I've read one of your
articles Jim. What have I been missing!? Thanks for the funny, informative,
and just plain awesome read! Take care and have a great Turkey day!
Jeff, Pasco, WA
* * *
Jim, I just loving reading your blogs. As I've dreamt
about going to Costa Rica for at least 20 years, this was a very insightful
and fun read for me. You always make me laugh.
Deborah - Burbank, CA
Wow, what a HILARIOUS guy!!!!! I really really enjoyed
the article. The Village Artist is my 'uncle Boyd" as I call him.
He is closing his shop next year. That made my day and thank you for letting
me know of this on the world's BEST travel information source.
Sandy - Sitka, Alaska
* * *
Hi Sandy!
Comments like those that you wrote
make all the hassles and travails of writing resoundingly worthwhile,
thank you! I am so sorry to hear that Boyd is closing his shop! The Alaskan
State legislature should immediately intervene to make his shop an Alaskan
cultural heritage site of some variety (not kidding). Meanwhile, from
the sound of the conversation Boyd and I had, it's the federal government
that's confused and harassed the poor guy with inconsistent and random
applications of federal law to the point where it's probably not worth
it anymore. I hope that's not the case, but I wouldn't be surprised. Whatever
the reason, I am really sorry to hear that he's closing shop. I'm privileged
to have seen it... once in a lifetime. Thanks again for reading and thanks
a lot for your comments!
Jim
Hi Jim,
Now I know what you were doing on the Alaska cruise when
I wasn't around. Besides playing cribbage. I'm glad that you, a younger,
more slender and fit person, also saw the value in cruising. I didn't
come back with a tan, but I did lose 3 pounds while sleeping every night
and eating every meal but one. Jade and I are looking forward to three
weeks exploring Mediterranean ports in May. We put down our deposit for
it on our last night on board and have starting our training. Sleeping
in the same wonderful bed every night makes such a break-neck pace completely
possible for a grandma like me. I'm looking forward to reading your Afghanistan
piece WHEN you have returned.
Janice - Seattle
* * *
Hi Janice!
Yes that was a blast! I would do
all of that again any day of the week. Have fun on your Mediterranean
cruise, that sounds like great fun!
Jim
Love your expeditions. Keep writing.
Karen Cummings - Yakima, WA
* * *
Jim can't tell you how much I am enjoying your writing.
One other commenter mentioned you are living the life we all dream of,
ain't that the truth. As far as looking for a place to live that will
challenge you to be able to make a real living and supplying a steady flow
of women looking for the bbd (bigger better deal) then you should try the
Yakima Valley here in Washington State (inside joke). Look forward to
reading more from you.
Huston Turcott (hooter) - Yakima, WA
Awesome!!! I love Japan!
Maja - Chur, Switzerland
Jimmy my love,
I totally thought you were kidding when you told me you went bullriding. OH MY GOSH you actually did it. (SIGH) Am I going to have to smack you around a bit?? heheheheee Seriously, come see us!
Leah, Richland, WA
Jim,
Rock on Friend! Living it up... inspiring us all to do the same!
Celeste, Seattle
Jim,
Are you for real? You're living the life many people only dream about. You're
obviously not yet married. What wife would allow her husband to do all
the crazy things you do? This Virginia skydiving adventure is probably
the scariest yet. Your writing style helps bring the exhilaration out.
Great photos too. Loved the caption about you striking that "gangsta
rap" pose. Come to think of it, why do we do that in front of the
camera?
Thanks also for the tips. $250 for a few minutes with nothing between
you and mother earth is a bit costly but I guess if you have a death wish,
this is definitely the way to go.
You mentioned that 25 people a year lose their lives doing this. With my luck
I will be among that number if and when I decide to do this.
Enjoyed it very much. Can't wait for your next adventure.
Peter Paul of South Pasadena, CA
Jeem!
Found ur Glacier trek (I will Destroy You Glacier Peak)
to be serious kick ass. To be honest, I’m such a lightweight, I’ve
never been more than a day tripper. When u really get out there on one
of those long solo treks, and the water runs short … can u drink
from local streams? I’ve heard that pollution is so bad that even
places untouched by man are now off-limits.
VitoZee
* * *
Howdy VitoZee,
Great to hear from you and thanks
for the complement and question. That is a seriously cool name, by the
way: VitoZee. Just from the phonetics of it, I get the impression that
you might be a very friendly and mild-mannered hitman working out of North
Jersey. Really cool.
As for your drinking water from
streams question, there are a lot of answers for it. The simple answer
is that, no, you can almost never implicitly trust stream water sources,
unless they are flowing straight out of the ground (via an aquafer or
spring) bubbling up right there in front of you. That's your best bet,
but you rarely see that in the wild unless you're looking for it, and
even so, I have actually gotten sick from drinking spring water straight
from the source at Panther Springs on Mount Shasta. You never know what
you're going to get drinking untreated water from the wilds.
Most of the time the pollution you'll
be dealing with out in the wilderness is not man-made, it usually comes
from bacteria and parasites that inhabit the bodies of wilderness animals.
For example, on this Glacier Peak trip, I drank from a stream I was confident
was trustworthy. In the immediate vicinity were living quite a few marmots.
A number of days after I got home I fell ill, and had to wonder if I hadn't
picked up something from the water I drank, as there was not much of any
other explanation for my symptoms. I knew a trip to the doctor would probably
result in them sending me back home with a plastic cup that was required
to be filled with my own poo, which would need to be delivered back to
the lab steaming hot so they could figure out exactly what kind of bacteria
or parasite they were dealing with. (Not a joke, remember Panther Springs?)
After this diagnosis, I would then have to go back to the doctor and get
a prescription, but by then, my body would have probably fought off the
tiny invaders completely on its own. Not worth the trouble, and all of
this would certainly = Jim minus $280. So I suffered it out, and whatever
happened to be bothering me left my system in about 7 days or so. Yuck.
No fun.
Anyway, I don't recommend drinking
straight from the streams of the wild, but in a pinch, I do it everytime,
unless I see a bear or a moose straight upstream from me pooping in the
river, which has only happened about ten times. (Or zero times.) Anyway,
sometimes I get sick, sometimes I don't. If I'm exhausted and thirsty,
to heck with it, I'm drinking it.
All this notwithstanding, or withstanding,
or notwithoutstanding, whatever, they just recently invented the coolest
thing in the world though, so you might want to check it out. Previously,
for treating your water in the wild, you'd always have to put a pellet
of iodine or a congregate of other evil ingredients into your jug of stream
water and let it sit there for an hour before you drink it while the chemical
cocktail thoroughly treats your water. That is ridonkulous because when
you're hiking and thirsty, you aren't going to wait a full hour for that
pill to dissolve and work properly, you are going to guzzle. Anyway, they
just invented this magic wand of sorts that you can find at any decent
backpacking or outdoors store. You turn it on and dip it in your stream
filled water jug, and the ultraviolet light it produces irradiates everything
to death on the spot, after about 30 seconds or so. Kind of like my pinky
finger, which I keep forgetting to treat my stream water with, because
I'm always so dang thirsty.
Jim
Keep it comin' Jim. Sounds awesome.
Matt Langley, Duvall, WA
Hey Jim,
Enjoyed your Victoria article. It was an intersting slant
on a city that is generally just promoted as a destination for tea rooms,
gardens and double-decker buses. Now let's get serious ... are the Canadian
women there really that attractive, good-natured and open-minded? Maybe
I won't get married either and just move up there. It sure sounds refreshing
after having to deal with the smugness of all those LA starlets, trying
to make it in Hollywood.
Gary, Santa Monica
* * *
Gary,
Thanks so much for the communique. I can honestly tell you that there
was little exagerration involved in my description of the girls there
in Victoria. God, in his infinite wisdom, has thankfully granted American
mankind a few other places than the great old U.S. of A. to relieve our
hearts of the burden of the eternally-self-absorbed, career-tracked, Bill-Gates-as-a-husband
seeking beastly variety of female. I know, after living here in the States
forever (especially in Seattle), how it is. I was recently researching
a trip to Columbia, and heard the same news implicitly spoken about the
women there, they are apparently of the same caliber of those that live
in British Columbia. I invite you, before relocating, to take a trip up
to Victoria, to see for yourself. I'll never forget it.
And my brotha', if you think you have it bad in the Los Angeles area (I
lived there for six years), try Seattle (where I have lived for the last
laborious three). Seattle seems to be crammed with nothing other than
Ice Princesses, who live their lives completely within the confines of
darkened cerebral domains, mental attentions locked firmly onto the goal
of marrying the next Bill Gates, hoping to live in one of those big houses
smooshed up against Lake Washington, hearts available only to the ultimate
goal, the dream of all dreams ... being on Oprah someday...absorbing the
jealous attentions of the millions of suburbanite women watching, all
hoping to sit right there across from Ms. Winfrey someday, too, while
regaling her with the tales of the good life, closets full of the savvy
and smarmy garb purloined at Nordstrom's, their husband a virtual "Prince
Charming," their family-owned barnacle encrusted yacht anchored firmly
in some northern fjord. Oprah smiles back approvingly amidst a cacophony
of applause, screen fades to commercials, all conduits nourishing The
Beast.
You're my kind of guy, Gary. Hang in there, amigo. I look forward to meeting
your smokin' hot wife someday.
