Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 07/25/2014 - 17:09
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
Coca-Cola was originally green....
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 07/18/2014 - 16:37
A drunk was in front of a judge.
The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 07/11/2014 - 08:28
It's the scam of the summer! If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT! THIS IS A SCAM!!
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 07/04/2014 - 11:21
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?"
"Yes, coach," replied the little boy.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 06/27/2014 - 11:44
She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?"
"No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 06/20/2014 - 06:18
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?"
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 06/13/2014 - 02:00
Two little boys, ages 3 and 5, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 06/07/2014 - 01:32
At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 05/30/2014 - 10:13
Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day......
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 05/23/2014 - 06:35
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob says, "Yaw know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go..."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 05/17/2014 - 01:22
Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two draft beers please."
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Sat, 05/10/2014 - 14:12
A husband goes to police station to file a "missing person" report for his wife.Husband
: I lost my
wife, she went shopping & hasn't come back yet.
Inspector : What's her height?
Husband : I never checked.
Inspector : Slim or healthy?
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 05/02/2014 - 10:50
My good lady and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.
"Did you smell that food?" she said, "it smelt incredible!"
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 04/25/2014 - 14:03
Husband:
Honey, a car has hit me near the office.
Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been making tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head
was very strong; fortunately it seems that did not cause any serious injury
Submitted by RaoulTGIF on Fri, 04/18/2014 - 13:52
When God solves your problems, you have FAITH in HIS abilities;
when God doesn't solve your problems He has faith in YOUR abilities.
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